A Brilliant Plan
by Kal-El Fornia
Summary: This was a man who was elected to be the President of the United States of America. He was the leader of the Free World and the Commander-in-Chief of the world's most powerful military, and yet, Fitz couldn't comprehend his own stupidity.


Just had a random idea to write a little story based off a scene in _**Scandal**_. I don't remember quite how the scene in question went down other than the jist of it, but I couldn't be assed to look back and see just how exactly it was.

Quote of the day:

**_"Bleach is healthy. It's mostly water. We're mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach."_**

— **Nathan Explosion**,**_ Metalocalypse_**

* * *

"So that's why I revealed my affair with Olivia," President Fitzgerald Grant sanctimoniously proclaimed as he proudly stood in front of his wife and enemy, "so that you wouldn't have any ammunition against her."

Unsurprisingly, the Oval Office remained silent after that.

It took a moment for Mellie to process what her husband had just said, and she squinted her eyes at the President, Fitz being a bigger dumbass than she had ever thought he could actually be. The First Lady brought a slender finger to her chin, Mellie being baffled at her husband's stupidity, and she wondered if the whole idea to reveal his affair actually came from Fitz himself. If it truly did, she wasn't sure why anyone would have ever elected him President.

"Are you," Mellie paused, wondering for a second if this was one of Cyrus' schemes or maybe if this was even a calculated coordinated move planned by Olivia Pope herself, "are you serious?"

Mellie's response not being the one that he expected, Fitz raised an eyebrow and slowly sat down in the chair closest to his wife. "Of course I'm serious. I wasn't going to let you do that to Olivia."

"Wow," was the only thing that Mellie could respond with, genuinely being dumbfounded.

"What?"

"Wow," she repeated.

Annoyed at his wife's lack of explanation, Fitz sat back and crossed his arms. "Don't act so surprised that I would be willing to do this for the woman that I love."

"I'm not surprised that you would be willing to do anything for Olivia," Mellie spat Olivia's name, because even though she was distracted at the moment with her husband's idiocy she didn't forget just how big a role that Olivia had in making her marriage go down the shitter, "and honestly right now I don't even care all that much. The thing that gets me is the fact that you actually thought that all of this was a good idea."

For the first time that day, the pompous smirk disappeared from President Dumbass' smug expression, and his face contorted in genuine confusion, in a way that was reminiscent of special ED kids trying to learn their multiplication tables. "What do you mean?"

"Again, wow."

Before Fitz could object to a lack of elaboration, Mellie held up a finger to silence her husband, and took in a deep and much needed breath. Suffice to say that the First Lady was glad that she was already sitting down, because she couldn't believe that she actually had to explain to the President of the Goddamn United States the sheer magnitude of the stupidity in his logic. It was in moments like this that she almost wished that the Soviet Union had won the Cold War.

With one last deep breath, she was ready to teach her husband something he should have learned when he was like fifteen, or twelve if he went to public school. "I understand wanting to protect Olivia. I understand wanting to take away any ammunition I may have had against her. I even understand, however misguided I feel it is, any resentment that you may have against me. The thing that I don't understand however is that to get back at me for that resentment that you feel, and to protect Olivia apparently, that you personally use the only ammunition that I have against her yourself."

Fitz only stupidly blinked.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Mellie rubbed her temples, almost deciding to agree to the divorce that Fitz wanted.

This was a man who was elected to be the President of the United States of America. He was the leader of the Free World and the Commander-in-Chief of the world's most powerful military, and yet, Fitz couldn't comprehend his own stupidity. Maybe this was just a side effect of that whole attempted assassination? It was the least that Mellie could hope for.

Without being prompted, she continued on. "It doesn't protect Olivia if you use the thing that I was going to hurt Olivia with to, well, hurt Olivia. I had a bullet against her, and what you did was grab onto that bullet, load it into a gun, and then you shot it at your mistress long before I ever would have."

"But I was protecting her." Fitz mumbled, the President perhaps finally seeing the foolishness of his brilliant plan.

Mellie just rolled her eyes. "Really, Fitz? You're the President for Christ's sake. You remember that whole Bill Clinton thing, right? This affair with Olivia is going to overshadow everything that you've ever done in your Presidency, as little as it is."

"If I didn't do it, you would have!" Fitz pointed at Mellie accusingly.

"Only if you forced me to! I was willing to work out a deal, you idiot."

The Oval Office became quiet again, Mellie silently glaring at her husband, and Fitz relaxing back into his chair at the moment. Mellie said nothing else since she doubted that anything she said would ever get through to the President's dumbass head, and Fitz ignored his wife like he usually did, instead bringing his hand to his mouth as he tried to contemplate on a course of action that would fix the mess he got himself into. It would be a long night for the both of them, but for very different reasons. Fitz would spend the next few hours with Cyrus trying to figure out a way to get out of this latest scandal, which honestly was the way that Fitz had spent most of his Presidency. Mellie on the other hand would be online, trying different sites to find out what kind of brain damage a bullet to the head could cause. Exasperated, the First Lady stood up and stomped outside the room, and as she did so she said the only words that could ever make sense to her in that moment.

"I should have married a Democrat."

* * *

This is probably the only_** Scandal**_ thing I'll ever write. Later, folks.


End file.
